Again A gang rape case in Mumbai! The world is
getting unsafe place for women. Here I don’t want to blame anyone but rapist’s
mentality. but there are a few tips against this hedius crime.
GENERAL PRECAUTIONS
1] Men target woman who look a bit susceptible
e.g. those who are looking tired, weeping, very skinny and short heighted,
smiling etc. Even if you have thousands of problems, don´t weep in front of
strangers when you are outside your home. Also you need not to give friendly
smile to everyone. Be friends with them who deserve your friendship.
2] If you are teenager, please don’t do
´friendship´ with elder men. If they are calling you FRIEND that means they
don’t consider you their sister or daughter.
3] It is nothing wrong to keep a weapon with
you. But you must know when and how to use it. When I was teenager I used to
tie a radium cutter in my waist and also a hot mint/medicated spray in my hand.
4] Now what I am going to write is what no
women realise but it applies to every man. A men will try to touch you to see
if he can get you. Just say NO or shout. Don’t think that if you will move
yourself or remove their hand, they will understand that you are not
interested.
There is nothing like ´understanding´ in man’s
brain. YOU HAVE TO SAY´NO´.
My home city is also not very safe. Once I was getting into train and taking advantage of crowd someone pressed on my hip. Although I didn’t know
who he was but I slapped the person who was closest to me. ( I might be wrong
but I trusted my gut feeling) Woo… magic… then nobody dare to do it again. (that
means I was right!!!)
5] Don´t be afraid to create drama. I remember
I was walking back to my room and a boy was following me by car. (My first
fault was I was walking in the direction of cars, you should walk in opposite
direction so that no one can pick you inside their car.) He offered me a lift and I gently said no. As
he insisted, I started shouting, He went away.
I know many of you will say Comm´on lady, Grow
up! There is a huge difference in flirting and raping. But a flirt can be
transformed to rapist when he has opportunity!!! If you want to flirt, please
flirt with those for whom their identities can be known, not with complete a
stranger e.g. someone you met online or on the street. (No matter how nice they
are!!!! You don’t know how true or real they are!!!)
6]
Needless to say never indulge in Alcohol or eat/drink with unknown people. You
never know what medicine is mixed in the food or drink.
I know a case in which a men (Brother’s friend)
gave a soft drink to a girl, raped and killed her. Packed food or drinks can
also be adulterated.
SMALL GIRLS AND TEENAGERS
1] be safe online, NEVER SHARE YOU PHOTO OR
REAL NAME AND ADDRESS ONLINE.
2] No matter how good looking picture he
posted, how good he talks. Never meet you online friend alone.
3] Never be ´friends with your teacher
especially coaching /tuition teacher or your sports or gym instructors
4] If someone touches inappropriately, don’t
think about his intention. And tell that man “don’t dare to touch me like that,
I’ll complain to my parents”
Just tell your parents “he touched me on…, I
did not like it”
PROBLEM ZONES
- School
in odd timings
- Coaching
centres in odd timings
- Music
shops or the places or vehicles in which laud music is being played
- Friend’s
house
ATTACKER CAN BE
- RELATIVES
- Friend’s
papa or brother
- Non
teaching and teaching staff in school or coaching centres
- Anyone
who says
- he
understands you and nobody else does
- this
is our game, you must not share it with anyone
- if
you will tell this to anyone, I’ll kill you/parents/Dog etc.
- Any
adult who is overfriendly with teenagers or children.
WHO CAN SAVE YOU
- Parents
and siblings (please don’t distrust your kids)
- Cousin
(Sister or Brother) who have nice background (intentions)
- Good
friends
- Police
YOUR DRESSING SENSE
Although I strongly believe that dressing has
nothing to do with Rapist’s intentions. But then also there are some points to
consider. Please excuse me if you are not convinced with the ideas in this paragraph.
1] Sometimes men look for in a potential victim
is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun!,
braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to
go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
If someone
grabs your hair, turn behind and hit him with your elbow (preferably on
genitals or on the neck behind jaw)
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They
will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them
carry scissors around to cut clothing. If he comes with scissor, don’t let him
attack. Run away and shout…
3] they also look for women using their cell phone
(use wireless earphones), searching through their purse or doing other
activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily
overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from /
attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are
looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they
don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they
get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that
going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who
have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in
their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to
get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to
convince these guys you’re not worth it. I think best weapon is pepper or other
medicated spray.
HOME
ALONE????
Switch off
lights, make it dark. Through as many things on the way as you run.
run to
kitchen throw powdered spices like chilli, turmeric on him.
Run to
bathroom… through Phenyl or toilet cleaner on his eyes/face.
Running to
bedroom and lock yourself is worst to do…. But you can do it anyways.
Although
bollywood film shows if you cant hurt them… hurt yourself… IT´S WORST THING TO
DO. If you don’t know how to use knife, just use it anywhere on attackers body
(not on yours if you are attacking yourself you are being easy target)
especially genitals.
Mentally
ill man doesn’t care about your blood. If you can’t run away, just urinate or
shit near to you. He will not come close.
ON THE
ROAD, IN THE RAIN?
Wait inside
ATM, they have camera.
Visit
nearest police stations. Most of the police men are very helpful. In fact they
will not throw you away from police station.
Talk to the
watchman of nearest building (that building should not be under construction).
He can help you.
Talk to ANY
GENTLE MAN, WOMEN OR FAMILY, but not to whom who is flirting to you.
Religiously looking people e.g. Muslim with cap, Sardarji, Hindu with tilak,
Pastor or Nuns are often of good character.
TAXI!!!
AUTO!!!
When
possible take taxi/auto from prepaid booth.
Don’t allow
driver to accommodate strangers.
Many of us
have mobile phone with camera. Take picture of number plate and send it to your
parents.
Try to
travel in known and crowded routes.
Ask any
friend for help.
PROBLEM
ZONES
When you
are alone in dark night, please avoid (or become careful) to pass from
- Empty dark street.
- Under construction buildings
- Parallel and slow moving bus,
car or other four wheelers.
- Strangers: especially drunk
guys who are alone or in a group.
ARE BUSES
SAFE OR UNSAFE?
SAFE!
- When there are families and
variety of people inside like 2-3 working men or women, or combination of
middle class and poor people, educated or uneducated.
- If you find last gentleman or
family is leaving, just get down of the bus at that point only.
- When this bus have proper
company and route number and timing.
UNSAFE!!!!
- When there same looking men.
Like a group of all poor and they seem like friends to each other.
- School bus or privates buses.
- Vehicles with curtains or black
glasses, and closed windows.
WHAT CAN
YOU DO WHEN YOUR DESTINATION IS FAR AWAY AND YOU DON’T HAVE MANY OPTIONS TO
REACH THERE:
·
Call
and inform your family (even if the are in other town)
· you need not to hide anything.
·
Contact
nearby police station.
·
Stay
whole night with your trusted friends.
·
Save
a taxi driver number who live near to your home just call him.
·
Call
to taxi company.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street
or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face
and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that
you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal
as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your
hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man
talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she
would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a
huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE
PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with
strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the
waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow
and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy
taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date
rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle
strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard
as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin.
I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s
parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and
make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor
is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start
causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his
first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure
pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply.
Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if
you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may
feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was
trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest
point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber
asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than
you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving
like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved
lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars
after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or
making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this
is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to
your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a
parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side
floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your
car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by
pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their
cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of
your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat
nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under
his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in
100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be
sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial
killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the
sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he
abducted his next victim.
All in all… stay in contact with good friends and family… Be safe, be happy and
have fun
